Comments on: Why after 8 years together does he suddenly need porn?

By: Marinersfan

Marinersfan — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 16:12:59 +0000

Men like to see porn … if only because there’s likely to be something on there that they don’t get to see in their own lives – lesbians, shemales, orgies or whatever.

Maybe you should talk about it with your man and watch some together so you can eventually try some of the things out – bondage, fetishes, even a 3some or some swinging if you feel confident enough
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By: Pixie

Pixie — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 15:44:59 +0000

If he’s not being funny since breaking the dvds chillout. have a look at some porn yourself… Maybe he got them because everyone else in his work was buying them and he didn’t want to lose face? It’s possible. That said, anything that makes you review your sexuality is a good thing. Have you made love since finding them? Maybe this is just the first time in 8 years you’ve found his porn… talk to him. You’ll be right. Good luck.
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By: red hot42

red hot42 — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 15:28:59 +0000

Its a man thing lovey…..they like to think they can still keep (it) up with the young ones…dont worry about it.
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By: Sarah C

Sarah C — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 14:38:59 +0000

Try not to take i personally, it is completely normal! My ex had a bit of porn and sometimes I would watch it too! He's never going to meet these people, it just spices things up a bit!
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By: 420means t

420means t — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 14:26:59 +0000

here's a tip!!! watch porn with him. watching porn together as a couple is sooo much fun not to say the sex will be much better cuz your both in the mood and ya want to please each other instead of just wanting to get it over with.
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By: titansineurope

titansineurope — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 13:48:59 +0000

He may or may not need porn. I once thought I did because I didn’t communicate enough with my wife, therefore I wasn’t getting sex, therefore I thought I needed porn to satisfy myself. I would definitely ask him a bit more about it. It led me to do other things I shouldn’t of done, cyber etc…, but don’t obsess about it either, just communicate. Porn can be fun if both are on board.
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By: nan

nan — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 13:19:59 +0000

He just wants to spice it up a bit…..go with it or he will do it behind your back. But if you don’t like it, say so and maybe you’ll have to move on.
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By: Classy1

Classy1 — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 12:49:59 +0000

I felt the same way when I found my fiance going through my ex's bag that I was going to throw away. He said he wasnt looking at them, But i caught him cause I had the tapes rewinded and they were in the middle. He denied it so I threw him out and he stayed out side with the dog till he admitted to it. He admitted to it the next morning when he got the point I wasnt letting him in. His excuse was to get ideas of different positions. But the magazine just had women in it so how can he get positions from that. But it makes your sex life better in a way.But he knows now not to even look at it. Or when a naked women comes out he turns his face. Eventually if he does stop looking it will work out
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By: agatehunt

agatehunt — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 12:43:59 +0000

I don’t think a lot of people understand porn for what it is. It’s an addiction that doesn’t necessarily reflect on the partner. Once guys see porn, it’s like a photo in their mind-they can’t get rid of it and it takes some serious determination and understanding of it to quit. I just don’t think that most guys see it as an addiction, and some ladies don’t either-they think it’s harmless and normal for men to get involved in this. It isn’t harmless-it’s as destructive as anything-did you know that Ted Bundy became a serial killer because he first picked up a Playboy in a junkyard at age 13 or 14? His addiction escalated into murder. Don’t take this lightly, and set your boundaries high. Mostly, don’t be afraid to lose him. If he loves you and cares, he will seek help. If he doesn’t look for help, the porn will tear you apart anyway. Demand that it be dealt with, and think enough of yourself to not take a place next to this evil stuff. Stand tall-remember, if you’re afraid to lose him, he will sense that you are desperate and will put up w/ it. This will help both of you in the end.
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By: nicetights

nicetights — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 12:06:59 +0000

He probably has been into a bit of porn since you have known him but hides it as he rightly thinks it would upset you.
I think you should accept it or better still ask if you can watch it with him, it might feel better if you can do it together and it would probably turn him on more. I also think there is less chance of him being unfaithful to you if he gets his release from watching this. However it seems that you think that by watching this he is being unfaithful. Think about it, good luck.
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A lot of experience!