Talk

I am a 15 year old girl, and I have never had a boyfriend. I know it is not the end of the world, but I would like one. I am basically an outcast at school, and I am in the misfits group, but I still am the odd one out. I don’t really have any friends. Also, epically lately, I have felt like my parents don’t care as much. I know they are busy and think I am OK on my own, but after a few months its getting to me. So, I feel left out at both home and school, and most of my life I have has a negative view on everything, so with all that, I think a boyfriend who cares about me would help me.

But, I haven’t been able to find anyone. I know me hardly leaving my house other than to go to school or with family doesn’t help, but I am a slightly flirty person when I can talk to a cute guy. But, I have liked a few guys from my school, they all either ignore me, or make fun of me. I want to know if there is anything wrong with me. I know my hair was a problem with me, but I got that sorted out the other day. I am over-weight, not extremely over-weight, but not slightly. Because of this, I always worry about what I look like, so I tend to wear clothes that are too big for me and usually sporty as I feel really weird wearing skirts or shorts or dresses, and any other clothes that show parts of my body. So, my usual thing to wear is a short sleeved top, jogging bottoms, trainers, hoddie (always done up to the top) and a baseball cap. I know wearing all that is probably not helping, but if I am wearing anything else is get very conscious of my weight. I do like some of the in fashions, but I wouldn’t dare wear them. I have also been known to wear leg warmers on my legs and arms (yes, my arms, I know, its weird) in school under my trousers and blazer. Like a lot of girls my age, I do have spots, but nothing that bad. I don’t believe in wearing make-up either, 5 layers of foundation is not the answer to everything. I don’t really think I am pretty, but I have been told from guys in the “misfits” group I am pretty, but that’s only happened a few times when I’ve been upset from a certain guy being a jerk. I really don’t know if I am or not. I have also been told, randomly in convos a few times, I have pretty eyes. But this is coming from the people in the group.

Personality wise, I am a bit different from most. I have about 4 main moods, depressed, hyper, annoying and talkative. I am always talking about my favourite band (McFLY if you must know) and how I would love to marry one of them (Danny Jones) When I am hyper, I usually can’t sit still, and rather then keeping my sarcastic comments to myself or quite, I will shout them out. I also have a tendency to jump around like crazy from time to time. When I am depressed, I usually go through my whole “I hate life, I wish I was dead, everyone hates me” thing, and I will usually end up crying if anyone proves any of that right. I can get angry easy, but that only usually happens when a stupid teacher tells me off or something, or someone says stuff about my favourite band, show, or celebrities. I am very sarcastic, very dirty (I usually can’t go five minutes during a convo or lesson with out thinking or saying something dirty) and some people even think I am “totally awesome” but they are usually people i know off of sites on the computer.

Just a few more things, I now have short (just past my shoulder) straight blonde hair with a side fringe. I am quite smart, I am either in top or one from top classes, and I am a history and geography geek. I can also come across childish (I still laugh when a teacher says “titanium” or if someones says “do do”) I really don’t know what I am doing wrong, or what is wrong with me. What can I do? I don’t want to severely change myself, but I want to know if I should shut up more, be a little less annoying ect.

Ah you sound exactly exactly EXACTLY like the old me!
Well, I still love McFly though (but Dougie, not Danny hahaha).
I used to be kinda like you when I realised that people were only acting like that towards me because I wouldn’t stand up for myself.
Go to the hairdressers, look at your wardrobe and decide what sort of things you really do think other people will look at and think "wow, she has a good style". Keep some of the clothes you know you can’t bear without, throw out the others (or sell them on eBay to get a bit of money for the next part) and go shopping. You don’t need a lot of moneyy to get decent clothes anymore, you can just go into Primark and get some nice things.
If you’re not happy with your weight, don’t think "i’m going on a diet" because if you do, you’ll go around thinking "i can’t eat this, i’m on a diet" and the cravings will be worse. Instead just eat fruit instead of a packet of crisps, have a salad for dinner, etc.
One thing to think is – don’t think to yourself that you have to turn into one of the popular girls, still be yourself, just let your creativity come out a little, experiment with some makeup (and by that I’m not trying to get you to slop on tons).
Smile at people more, talk to more people. If they look at you like dirt then just roll your eyes and say something like "What’s up, would a smile crack your foundation?". Even though you might not like some people, make as many friends as you can and talk to people outside your group, then people will be friendlier to you and it’ll make you a lot happier if you have people talking to you in your classes.
If you want to find some guys go shopping or to a park or a place where you know they’ll hang out and smile at them, you never know.
I know that some people don’t like me because I have a childish sense of humour and I can be a little annoying but I just thought to myself, if they don’t like it then it’s their bad, they’re missing out on all the laughs.
Think about McFly, they have a childish sense of homour and they have millions of fans who love them for it. Why don’t you go on the McFly forums? Going to gigs and talking to people on there will make you some friends too.

http://mcfly.forums.umusic.co.uk

If you ever wanna talk, send me a personal message and I’ll give you my MSN or my name on the forums is StHannah182

Hope this isn’t a load of crapola.

xxx