Why isn’t he a good friend like he used to be?
We’ve been close friends for 3 years- probably the closest i’ve been to anyone for a long time. I never thought i would fall for him nor would he fall for me. We had a good relationship – nothing i’ve ever experienced. I was so comfortable with him – we could talk openly and trust each other about anything and everything (rare nowadays) and we could also laugh and understand each other. For a friendship, we were very affectionate – taking care of each other if one was heartbroken or not in a good place; was ALWAYS there for me. Looking back, i’m surprised we kept inside the boundries as friends. He was always respectful and a gentleman to me – this was truly a special relationship no one can understand except for the two of us.
Early this yr, we fell for each other year very deeply (hes always had feelings and i never caught on). We were "together" for a little (cuddles, give him first kiss) – i KNEW it would be potentially a good relationship. It was always my ideal relationship to end up w. a best friend. I could see myself being with him in the future for a long time but not at the moment. I had that "gut feeling" that kept telling me, "yes, be with him but wait. not now in your life." Very strong feeling and i agreed. I’m at the pt in my life where i want to start a foundation and finish my studies first. He understood completely and it was hard for both of us. For the next couple months after that, we tried being friends but i think it was harder for him than me. I told him back then that i would get over the situation of us not being together someday but i would never get over him.
It’s almost been a yr. and he’s not the same "friend" but rather this guy who works all the time now. I understand he’s busy but he won’t be dorky around me and if i hint at him that i have a problem, he’ll just txt me back a sad face. (every girl needs that reassurance and someone to be there for him and it’s not like we’re gonna be straight up and say, "i need you, help me.") I feel like he’s someone i can’t count on as a friend anymore. I know he really does care for me ALOT but there’s been other guy friends that have stepped up and have really been there for me more than him. Why can’t he be a good friend to me?
Have you told him all this? Your post is well written and I think if he has feeling for you, maybe feeling hurt now, he will let you know in the same clear rational way you have expressed youself here.
All the Best to you
March 5th, 2010 at 12:59 am
Have you told him all this? Your post is well written and I think if he has feeling for you, maybe feeling hurt now, he will let you know in the same clear rational way you have expressed youself here.
All the Best to you
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March 5th, 2010 at 1:04 am
i guess he’s just really hurt inside.
he probably thinks that you two will never get together and that he HAS to stop seeing you because if he doesn’t he probably thinks his heart will get broken again. he probably isn’t being silly around you because he knows that it was helping him for making you fall for him, but now he probably thinks that all that time he was doing it for nothing. i tell you, guys don’t want to wait for anyone, so i don’t know. if you want him to be the same get together with him, if not don’t. i think it is very smart of you to have good morals and want to finish your studies, as what ALL people should do!
love,, savannah
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March 5th, 2010 at 1:48 am
He has distanced himself because you "postponed" a relationship until later — which makes zero sense to me, and probably didn’t to him, either. So now "later" has come and he is no longer available. You can’t expect him to be all over you as he was before, just because you now wish it. He’s been burned and he apparently chooses not to put himself in that position any longer.
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